The Princess of Denial
by BICaRdiBrEeZa
Summary: This takes place in the TV universe of GG and begins directly after "The Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate". It's a Blair-centric fic that includes Chuck, Nate, Serena, Vanessa, Jenny and Dan. This is NB fic ship-wise.
1. Regret

Firstly i want to apologize because i have very little knowledge of the American school system so please forgive me if the following makes no sense what so ever. Basically to me the season finale of GG took place at the end of what i believe is called Junior year (the kids are 17 turning 18 and are about to start the last year of high school) and this fic begins then during the first semester of Senior year and has flashbacks of the previous Summer break (which I'm led to believe lasts at least two months or so) so that's how the time line goes in this! If your confused or just have questions or anything don't hesitate to ask.

Secondly, flashbacks take place in **bold**.

Thirdly enjoy and leave a comment if you liked it, this is my first attempt at the Gossip Girl fandom so iId love to read what you all thought of it!

Thanks!

* * *

_ She's a virus of fresh starts  
Puts you to bed with a pounding heart  
An insomniac snowflake  
She enters the party like a flurry from outside  
With eyelashes like whirlwinds_

Oh Delilah, I'm doing all that I can  
Oh Delilah, not to fall for your outstretched hand

_-Delilah, Desa_

_------------------- _

'_One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.'_

Blair stood facing the white ceramic bowl, her foot tapping the floor impatiently. How long was Serena going to take to leave the god damn bathroom?!

"B! Hurry up we are soooo late. It's only the first day back I seriously need to make a good impression if I want any chance of getting into a decent college!" The blond shook her mane and teased up the top as she pouted in the mirror.

"Well sorry Miss Goody two shoes, looks like Dan's geekiness is starting to rub off, the old S I knew and loved was up for skipping at the drop of a hat."

Serena rolled her eyes at her reflection, _"And _the old B I knew and loved was never late too class, what are you doing in there anyway?"

Despite her best effort Blair cracked a smile, "Just go ahead I'll be like two seconds it's that time of the month."

"Ewww thanks for that piece of information" Serena mumbled under her breath before lazily picking her books up from the marble counter, "have fun in unisex gym loser! I'll see you at lunch!"

As she heard the door shut Blair relaxed against the cubicle, she slid down until her face was level with the toilet she leaned forward and heaved; it was a ritual she had perfected many years ago.

**Ten minutes earlier**

**Nate stood awkwardly as Jenny slid her arm through his, the eyes of every girl in the circle seemed to follow the action and it made him increasingly uncomfortable.**

**He felt as though Jenny thought, or was at least trying to imply to the group around them, that they were an item. His jaw tensed when one of the girls giggled and another sent a glare at someone behind him. And when he heard Serena Van Der Woodsen whisper, "Just ignore them." He couldn't bring himself to face the person he was sure Serena had been talking too.**

**But he didn't have too because at that same moment Serena stormed past the group her hand clasped within Blair's and he wasn't sure which girl was holding on the tightest. He tried not to watch as they approached Chuck who merely sent them both a nod and then followed behind like some kind of skulking bodyguard. **

**The next person to join the trio was Dan, smiling widely at his girlfriend he picked Serena up lightly as he kissed her good morning. Nate noticed Blair drop Serena's hand and lower her gaze to the floor. He nearly stormed over there himself when Chuck put a hand around Blair's shoulders too nudged her forward out of her trance. **

**He knew they weren't dating, because the fight they had at Chucks party last month had confirmed that so he couldn't understand why they would hang out knowing how much it hurt him too see them together.**

**Over the summer he had heard about the new foursome. Jenny had told him how Dan and Blair had started hanging out at Chuck and Serena's parents' new billion dollar mansion. He desperately wanted to know the details but he found himself refraining from asking Jenny because as much as Blair had seemed to change in the last month, so had Jenny. His gaze was drawn back to her now as she tugged him towards the first floor hallway of her school she licked her lips suggestively and quirked her eyebrow so that her eyes held a hint of mischief, he shook his head apologetically, "I've got Davidson first period, after last year he'll kick my ass if I'm late on the first day back."**

**If Jenny was annoyed she didn't show it, "Watevs, find me at lunch biatch." She let out a giggle that sounded identical too the one he'd heard Blair use and he couldn't stop himself from physically tensing as Jenny kissed him on the cheek.**

**Jenny's eyes traveled to the other side of the quad and she smirked at Blair who was watching from the stairs adjacent.**

As soon as she sat down on the gym bleachers Blair felt a tap on her shoulder,

"You okay Waldorf?"

She rolled her eyes and sent Dan a smug grin, "I'm fine but could you not touch the Ralph Lauren polo with your grubby hands, Humphrey."

Dan glared back but Blair could still sense the concern as he jumped down to sit beside her, "If you want too tell me my sisters a bitch I give you full permission."

Blair burst out laughing and sound was genuine for the first time in a long time, it caught the attention of Nate who had been picked for the volley ball team first and had not notice Blair arrive late.

He hadn't known for sure whether she was taking this class, the new unisex sport elective offered between their schools, but he had a feeling she might. Blair was normally captain or vice-captain (if Serena was on the team) of the Constance Billard school squads. She hated sports but they look "good on college transcripts".

Nate frowned when he realized she was on the bench, he looked around and noticed that Jenny was serving for the girls team with the captain's sash tied around her waist synching her dress in the middle as if it was a couture gown.

Things really had changed.

"Well she is you know, even Vanessa won't talk to her anymore… she says that Jenny has 'morphed into a mini-version of Lindsay Lohan.'"

Blair rolled her eyes, "Vanessa's probably said that about me a million times."

"Hey! Don't sell yourself short. You're much classier than Lindsay your like… a mini-version of Paris Hilton."

"Gee thanks" she deadpanned and swiped his bottle of water; she took a long gulp taking a little bit of pleasure in the look of protest, annoyance then defeat on Dan's face. Over the summer she'd grown kind-of sort-of-maybe fond of Dan Humphrey. He was a nice guy, even if he had the dress sense of a grandpa and smelled like pork, she could forgive him for that because he had forgiven her for so much more. Despite their many differences at the end of the day he loved Serena, and so did Blair and that's why they inevitable had to get along.

**The beginning of Summer**

**Blair knocked cautiously on the front door of the Bass-Van Der Woodsen mansion. She hadn't talked to Chuck after he dismissed her at the bar a week ago, and she didn't plan too. The things he said cut her so deep she couldn't keep anything down for the next few days. And that's when she realized that it was back.**

**The disease.**

**This time she felt like she had to fight it on her own because Serena and her mother had enough to worry about, they didn't need anymore excuse to pity 'poor fragile Blair' who relapsed just because her boyfriend dumped her and someone who she considered a best friend practically disowned her. As the door swung open she suddenly had the urge to puke again but fought it down as the person ushered her in,**

"**Serena wanted me too answer the door before the maid did, Chuck Senior hired some Mexican lady who can't speak a word of English and she knows how much you hate having to spell things out for the help."**

**Blair stared at Dan's mouth as he spoke a million miles a minute, "Did I just say 'the help'?" He shook his head and took her coat from her, "I think I'm turning into a wasp."**

**Dan took the expensive black Chanel trench coat and shoved it roughly into the nearest door. Blair mockingly sighed, "I don't think they are going to hire you at the Ivy, Humphrey."**

**He let out a goofy grin, "I was wondering when you would be back to your old perky self…Follow me, Waldorf."**

**He led her towards the kitchen where Serena was covered from head to toe in flour, "What are you doing?" Blair asked amused at her best friends' appearance and slightly annoyed, how was it possible that no matter what Serena did she always looked gorgeous doing it. Blair never could capture that natural 'allure' as her mother put it.**

"**Hey B! I'm making a cake, doesn't it look delicious?!" Serena thrust out a bowl of cake mix that resembled dog shit.**

**Blair grimaced, "Sure does. What's the occasion?"**

"**My birthday."**

**She spun around with a feeling of horrible anticipation, to face the person who had entered the room.**

Chuck sat glumly at the entrance to central park, he had asked Nate too met him there; he wasn't sure what he was expecting to happen. But he was beyond _fucking _annoyed; nobody socially cut Chuck Bass the way Nathaniel Archibald had over the summer.

He rejected every phone call Chuck tried to make and because of Nathaniel's anger towards him Chuck noticed other friends within their social clique had taken it upon themselves to ostracize him and exact revenge that was deserved, the wolves had finally turned on the alpha male.

Gossip Girl was quick too report that Chuck Bass was kicked out of Clint Westwards infamous once-a-year poker night before he even entered the room undoubtedly taking delight in his down fall and then Jenny Humphrey had personally told more than half the girls at Constance Billard that he had genital herpes, and because of her sudden social ladder climbing most of them believed her.

But her day would soon come; if not by his hands then by Blair's he knew she would take care of little J eventually. He comforted himself with that thought as one girl laughed in his face when he propositioned her.

_Blair Waldorf._

There was a name at the beginning of summer he never wanted to utter again.

**The Beginning of Summer; A French Affair.**

**Chuck smirked at Blair as he approached the drinks tray, he mixed himself a scotch on the rocks, "Thanks sis, but you didn't have to order me a whore... I think that's usually a brother-to-brother sort of thing."**

**Serena let out a disgusted gasp, "Chuck!"**

**Blair squared her shoulders turning to face him, "Can I talk to you? Alone." She motioned for him too follow her out onto the patio but before he could react, his date Cecelia came pouncing through the door, "What iz takin' so long Chuccce?" Her French accent was light and airy and she walked so gracefully Blair almost thought she was floating.**

"**Sorry mademoiselle I was just greeting my guests for the festivities tonight." Chuck moved towards the raven beauty sending her a flirtatious smirk, "have you ever met Blair Waldorf, Cece?"**

**Before Chuck could bask in the jealousy he was secretly hoping Blair would display when she discovered he was hooking up with one of the most famous models in France, Cece moved out of his grasp and launched herself on Blair, kissing both of her cheeks with enthusiasm, "Oh iz Miss Waldofff, I 'ave wanted too meet zee for zo long! You're mother's fashion time is tre magnific!"**

**Blair smiled widely and tried to act modest, "Oh you've herd of Waldorf designs?"**

"'**Eard of it?! People has been praising it across Pariee. I would be 'eever zo happy to wear it in a show myself one day."**

"**Really?" Blair tired not too smirk too hard, "Well hopefully I'll hear it for myself when I visit my father in the fall."**

"**Oh Miss Waldoff are you coming to Pairee? You must stay and party with me!"**

"**Well this was such a nice little meeting I hate to cut it short" Chuck grabbed Cecelia by the wrist and attempted to pull her out the door and upstairs too his bedroom, she twisted around and called over his shoulder, "You must introduce me to your mother before I depart Miss Blair!"**

**Blair nodded and smiled in amusement as Chuck grumpily dragged his protesting date away from them.**

"**Well she was nice!" Serena commented as she pulled the chard remnants of the cake mix from the oven, "Yeah she was..." Dan agreed poking the black mess, "and normal…I thought only psychopaths willingly hooked up with Chuck."**

"**Hey!" Blair protested as Serena burst out laughing, "Oh I didn't mean..." but Dan didn't get too finish his sentence, Blair poked out her tongue and threw a handful of flour in his face.**

Against his better judgment Chuck had come to depend on Blair over the summer, not only as a friend but also as the only other person who knew how he felt and understood why. When she came crying to him after Nate had rejected her, his first instinct had been to lash out, to make her feel as much pain as she had made him feel. But at the end of the day... it just wasn't satisfying.

And there was nothing Chuck Bass liked more than too be satisfied. To his horror, Chuck began to realize that he had never been more satisfied than he was at the beginning of junior year… when he was scheming social destruction with Blair Waldorf and hanging out with his best friend, Nathaniel Archibald. There was nothing he wouldn't do too have that feeling back, nothing.

So now they were trying to re-build their lives, Chuck and Blair, and although he was as much of an asshole as he was before all of this had happened he just couldn't hurt Blair anymore, because judging by the amount of food she consumed at lunch, she was busy enough hurting herself.

But more importantly neither of them wanted to hurt Nathaniel Archibald more than they already had… because Blair loved him so much and in Chuck's own twisted way he loved both of them so much more.

Blair noticed his argyle scarf from a mile away, "Sitting alone with a trench coat on in central park? How perverted old man of you."

"Funny." Chuck commented regretting the hostile tone, he was glad she had found him because he did look pathetic sitting all alone, but disappointed she had not been Nate.

"He didn't come?"

She tried to ask the question as though she didn't already know the answer.

Chuck merely shrugged, "Whatever it's not like I really needed him anyway."

"Yes you do," Blair took her hand into his "We both do."

"Chuck?" Her voice was muffled by his coat as she saddled in next to him,

"Hmmm?"

"Do you ever regret it?"

"What? Not taking you back after it all happened?"

Blair opened her mouth to say, _'No do you regret ever betraying Nate in the first place?_' but instead nodded into Chuck's shoulder because she was intrigued to hear the answer.

"No. Because you belong to Nathaniel and I had no right trying to take you from him in the first place... You _belong _together."

Blair stared at the ground for a moment before finally replying,

"No. People don't belong to other people."

He sighed wanting to argue that Blair and Nate's relationship was the proof that some people just belong together but instead nodded glumly; feeling the need to comfort her he placed a friendly kiss on her forehead.

Jenny stopped at a dead halt; she squinted trying to make out the two figures on the park bench. Taking out the phone Hazel had leant her which was a much more sophisticated and expensive version of the one her mother had brought her for Christmas she took an image of the scene before her. She searched excitedly through her contacts until she found the one she was after. Taking a sip of her starbucks Jenny thanked her lucky stars she suddenly had a craving for a whipped mochachino after Nate blew her off for lacrosse practice.

Nathaniel wiped the sweat from his brow and removed his soaking wet shirt, his muscles were still buzzing from the adrenaline of a good long practice he was in better shape physically than he had ever been and he supposed he ironically had Chuck to thank for that. He imagined his sleazy face on every lacrosse ball he smashed. Nate reached for his towel looking forward to a long hot shower, before he manage to reach it through the blue light of his phone caught his attention.

"**Afternoon Upper East Siders, does Gossip Girl have some juicy dish for you all? You bet your starbucks she does! Finally the confirmation we had been searching for, photographic evidence of the Waldorf-Bass relationship,"**

A picture of Chuck kissing Blair affectionately on the head as they cuddled closely on a bench loaded onto the screen.

"**Ahh how sweet, young lovers meeting in central park. Despite the denial from both parties at Chuck's party over the summer it looks like fallen Queen B may have found a new King after all."**

Nate threw his phone down, startling his team mates who were also in the process of getting changed. He grabbed his sports bag not bothering with a shower and called his driver; he had to get out of there before he did or said something that he would regret.

**The Middle of Summer;**

**Party Planning**

"**I can't believe you've been planning this party for a whole month," Dan said raising his eyes from his novel.**

**Chuck clucked his tongue, "This isn't just a party Brooklyn it's a 'Chuck Bass event'."**

**Blair laughed from her spot on the sofa, and Serena nudged her leg, "You can't talk. You plan a party for a friggen year!"**

**Dan and Serena both giggled at that while Chuck and Blair tried to look mildly offended.**

"**Why is that so ridiculous? Just because we don't roast pork on our balconies and invite who ever stumbles into our hallway." Blair sent a glare at Dan, "One bad party can spell the end of your social popularity in the Upper East Side."**

**Dan blurted out, **"**Well it's not like you have to worry about that anymore." and Serena leaped over the sofa to the chair he was sitting on to silence him but it was too late.**

**The room was dead silent and Serena was dreading the fight she knew would erupt between Blair and her boyfriend. But too everyone's surprise Chuck let out a hearty laugh breaking the tension, "True. I suppose that gives me license to do whatever the hell I want. And invite who ever the hell I want."**

**Blair perked up at that, "So Vanessa can come?"**

**Chuck groaned, he had no idea why Blair thought Vanessa was so cool, she clearly wasn't he had a medical grant for genital herpes in his name to prove that.**

"**I suppose. If she really _must_."**

"**Oh awesome!" Blair clapped, "this is going to be so much fun!"**

**Serena and Dan shared a look that said otherwise.**

* * *

Comments? Yes yes.

* * *


	2. Love

Thank you soooo much to everyone who left a comment it means the world too me and without them i would not have ever had the inspiration to write this! 

Once again the flashbacks are in bold but just check the times because i've included a flashback that's from a few years ago not the night of the party. xxx

* * *

_"Love is not a necessity, but it is life's greatest gift and luxury. It is to care, to be kind and patient. It is considered as perfect love when a person doesn't expect anything else but love."_

_-Love defined._

**The End of Summer:**

**The Chuck Bass Event aka the Party**

"**So, Hex? Was it?"**

"**Actually it's Be-"**

"**Whatever." Jenny dismissed with a wave of her hand.**

**Rufus caught the hint of malice that was in his daughter's eye as she questioned Bex, "Jenny, stop being rude to our guest." **

**Jenny shrugged innocently and sent one last murderous look Bex way before turning and ignoring her completely.**

"**Thanks again for having me over guys" The brunette smiled warmly at the family of three who were sitting at their dinning table, Dan returned the smile while continued to Jenny play with her sidekick mumbling something that sounded like, 'You so not welcome'. **

**Bex tried not too let Jenny's attitude affect her, she knew what it was like too be a child of divorce but she had hoped that after two months of dating Rufus Jenny might have finally warmed up to her, she looked over at the fifteen year old and received a snotty eye-roll in return, if anything she had gotten frostier.**

**Dan took the last bite of his father's home-cooked dinner; Serena would **_**kill**_** him if he was late to the party, no scratch that Blair would kill him, Serena would probably just call him an idiot and laugh it off… none-the-less if he wasn't at that party in twenty minutes he was dead meat**

"**So your dad told me you're off to a friend's birthday party tonight?" **

**Dan looked towards Bex to answer but frowned in confusion when he realized she had been talking to Jenny.**

"**Yeah I am… it's an eightieth. I'm surprised you're not already going aren't you like twenty…" Jenny mumbled the last bit into her drink and Bex had to suppress the urge to stand up and throw Rufus's delicious pasta in her face.**

**Dan glared at Jenny, "Who's party are you going too!" **

"**A friend's…" The blonde replied evasively, pushing the spaghetti around her plate.**

"**If you and your little minions are thinking about crashing Chuck's party Jen I swear…"**

"**Whoa whoa!" Rufus exclaimed, "Nobody's crashing anybody's party… Jen if you and your friends weren't invited then you should stay home." **

"**But dad! I already promised Hazel I'd stay at her house afterwards!" Jenny pouted the hardest she could and was surprised when she heard Bex speak up, "I know that it's none of my business Rufus…but Dan's going too the party and he's invited right?" **

**Dan grimaced hoping Bex wasn't seriously trying to get his dad let Jenny go, he couldn't blame her for wanting to have Jenny think she was cool but he had the feeling she was seriously underestimating the uber bitch that had become his sister. **

**Rufus nodded.**

"**Well I'm sure he can keep an eye on her, she's fifteen! When I was fifteen I was out at worse places than an Upper East Side party and I didn't even have an older brother to chaperon me." Bex winked at Jenny as Rufus gave Dan an apologetic shrug. **

**Dan gritted through his teeth "Fine." and stood up from the table.**

**In response Jenny's face lit up in a triumphant smirk.**

** - - - -  
**

**Blair stood up from the bowl and wiped at her mouth she opened Chuck's bathroom door and jumped when she realized she wasn't alone.**

"**You forgot too turn on the water." Chuck spoke lazily from his horizontal position on his bed. **

"**Is anyone here yet?"**

**Blair hoped he would just let it slide.**

"**Nice try Waldorf. But if you think I'm going to pretend this never happened then you clearly overestimated my narcissism."**

**Blair nibbled at the inside of her cheek, "It was just once. I felt sick."**

"**If Nathaniel knew…"**

"**Nate doesn't need to know anything!" Blair bit back now on the verge of tears, "He made it pretty damn clear that he wants nothing to do with me anymore."**

"**So this is how you cope with it?" Chuck asked, "What are you doing? You are so much stronger than this Blair." **

**Blair rolled her eyes, she was sick of being judged for who she was or wasn't.**

**Chuck's bedroom door burst open cutting their conversation short, "Hey slut!" Vanessa smiled widely at Blair, "What up Loser." Blair moved towards Vanessa to give her a hug. **

**Chuck stared at the two of them, **_**weirdest friendship ever**_

__

**An hour later more than half of the Upper East Side was roaming around the Bass-Van Der Woodsen manner with an alcoholic beverage in hand. **

"**Looks like Chuck Bass still has some social popularity left after all," Chuck quipped at Dan when a sophomore passed them and sent Chuck an appreciative giggle. **

**Dan looked around the living room nervously, he hadn't spotted Jenny and her little posse yet and he was still holding on some naïve hope that Jenny might find the remnants of her conscious and not come. **

"**What is **_**she**_** doing **_**here**_**?" **

**Chuck spat as a new group of people entered the party.**

**Jenny was standing in the entrance way, Dan could see she had brought her minions along… no doubt to help her torture Blair in some way but there was someone else standing behind her, that was blocked by the marble columns near the doorway. Dan peered around and felt his heart sink in his chest…**

**Nathaniel Archibald.**

_**Oh shit.**_

__

Nathaniel Archibald lay forlornly on his bed, throwing his mini-basketball up and down in a repetitive motion, it was somehow calming. 

Hearing the buzzing of his phone he tried not too throw the basketball into his roof, he turned his head to stare at the caller ID on his phone.

_Chuck Bass._

He fought with himself not knowing whether too answer it or not.

Pressing the answer option he held the phone to his ear Chuck's voice was devoid of its usual arrogance, "Nathaniel?"

**Serena noticed him before Blair did.**

**Panicking, she tried to distract Blair but it was no use, every pair of eyes in the room had turned too focus on the newest addition to the party.**

**It wasn't long before Blair shoved Serena out of the way too see what the fuss was about. Serena would have done anything to take the painful look off Blair's face. **

"**I am **_**so**_** sorry." **

**Dan and Chuck suddenly materialized beside the two girls.**

"**Did you know she was coming?" Blair's voice was high-pitched and quiet at the same time. A sort of harsh whisper she had no doubt learnt to use in her world, where anger wasn't an appropriate emotion to show in public.**

**Dan did his best too appear apologetic, "I wasn't sure she'd really come…" **

**Serena brushed it off in the way Serena brushed off everything as if it was a kink in her gorgeously straightened hair, "There's no point getting pissed at Dan, B. She's here, Nate's here we just have to deal. It's not that bad."**

**Blair felt a burst of irritation, no matter how much she loved Serena she would never understand how much harder things always were for Blair. Everyday in Serena's life seemed like a picnic compared to Blair's. Everything Blair ever wanted simply **_**fell**_** into Serena's lap as though it was really meant for her all along. Serena was her best friend, the best friend she could ever ask for so Blair found a way too excuse or forgive all the times Serena outshone her or took something from her or made her feel insignificant, but deep deep down she always resented her for it. **

"**Excuse me." Blair said in a tiny voice and made a dash for the downstairs toilet.**

**  
**

"Nathaniel?"

After a long pause Chuck continued, "You don't have to talk. Just listen to me."

He waited another moment, "Gossip Girl's got it wrong I'm not with Blair I was waiting for you to met me and Blair was walking by… she was upset. Nathaniel you know I wouldn't do that to you."

"You already did!" Nathaniel replied the anger that had consumed him over the summer finally exploding. 

"You remember that right Chuck! When you told me you were done with Blair and now I find out you were lying too me… that you've been with her this entire time … oh and remember that time you had SEX with my FUCKING GIRLFRIEND and then pretended like NOTHING HAPPENED!"

**Nate's eyes followed Blair's curly brown hair as it dashed and darted through the crowd towards the back of the manner, "I'll be right back." He nodded at Jenny walking off before she could protest.**

"**Don't." **

**Chuck had followed Blair and was blocking her entrance to the bathroom.**

"**Go away Bass!" Blair was crying now, tears stained her pink rose cheeks. **

"**Fuck off Chuck!"**

**Seemingly out of nowhere Nate was at Blair's side, as if he had never let it, shoving his ex-best friend away from her as hard as he could.**

**A few of the younger boys who had been standing near leaned closer to hear the argument and one sent a quick message to Gossip Girl.**

'_**Bass, Archibald and Waldorf involved in a domestic near rear toilets.'**_

**Chuck looked around at the gathering crowd and stared at Blair threateningly, all he had too do was tell Nate what they were arguing about and he knew Nate would be on his side and Blair would be the one on trial...on the other hand he would be exposing Blair's weakness to the entire Upper East Side and he knew she would never forgive him for that. **

"**Fine! I give up Blair." He sighed, "Whatever, she's all yours. I don't want her anymore." Chuck stormed off leaving Blair and Nate staring at his retreating form. **

**Nate looked around at the gawkers who were lapping up the drama, "Show's over." He declared as Jenny made her way through the crowd latching herself at his side.**

"**You're such a slut!" Jenny spat at Blair and motioned to the bathroom door behind them, "Taking another pregnancy test!"**

**Blair swallowed hard forcing back another flood of tears.**

**Nathaniel frowned and pulled Jenny away from the scene.**

**Blair was crying harder now, not caring that twenty of her school friends were standing around staring at her and whispered about her.**

**Jenny had just called her a slut. **

**And Nate had let her. **

**Blair turned the handle to the bathroom and locked herself inside.**

**  
**

"Nathaniel, I know I betrayed you but I haven't touched Blair since you found out about us. We're just friends, I _swear_. You should know Blair loves you, she always has and she always will. Nothing I do or did is going to change that." Chuck's voice was steady and held enough conviction too cool some of the anger Nate felt.

"I can't trust you man. I _wish _I could." Nate replied sadly hanging up the phone and turning off his bedside lamp.

Serena and Blair made their way across the quad, Dan and Chuck trailing not far behind.

Miraculously the foursome had gained some social popularity, people seemed to respect them. The way Serena had stuck by Blair after the whole pregnancy scandal and the way Blair had forgiven Serena for sleeping with Nate was enduring and the way any of them tolerated Chuck had to earn them bonus points. 

Some might say they had even become the new "in-crowd" as Jenny and her minions attitudes were quickly turning people against them, B/S/C had redeemed themselves by showing everyone they were capable of changing and maturing. 

Nobody said any of this too Nathaniel's face of course, but he knew that the general consensus was that nobody really resented Chuck or Blair anymore, expect for Jenny and Hazel. Most people had gotten over the whole drama after yesterday; once people found out that Chuck and Blair were a couple from Gossip Girl most of the buzz died down. That was always the way in the Upper East Side… once a secret was out the remaining tremors weren't half as interesting as the initial after shock. 

Nate watched the foursome walk across the quad; the new cool clique seemed to gain admiring and envious glances from the kids around. Blair laughed at something Serena said and smiled at a younger timid girl who passed them. She looked so happy; she was smiling in her shy way that made her dimples show, a smile he had caused many times before.

He couldn't fight the feeling. 

Despite everything they'd been through he wanted to be apart of Blair's life again.

Blair traced the pattern the rain had made on the hallway window in front of her.

"Do you remember the first time you made me watch Breakfast at Tiffany's?" 

Blair jumped at the sound of his husky voice; she hadn't heard it in over a month and for a moment she almost thought she was dreaming.

Nate blanched and was suddenly feeling uncertain of himself, "Sorry I just saw you by yourself and I... I don't know."

"No no it's fine. I just… after the last few times we've seen each other I just figured you'd never want too talk to me again."

Had Nate forgiven her? He seemed to be talking to her of his own free will without yelling or insulting or accusing her... She wondered if it was some kind of trick… if God was mocking her.

He shrugged and sent her one of his 'turn girls to jelly' grins, "Well do you remember?"

Blair smiled at him shyly, "I remember." she said feeling herself blush, and Nate return the smile his eyes lighting up at the memory.

**Three Years Earlier**

**Nathaniel's long gangly arm snaked its way slowly around her shoulder, he leaned forward and Blair could practically taste the minty freshness, she could almost see her own reflection in his silver braces.**

"**Nathaniel Archibald! I'm trying to watch!" Blair couldn't have been more embarrassed, the blush had surely spread throughout her entire body.**

**Nate was actually trying to kiss her, **_**her**_

"**Blair Waldorf you've seen this a million and one times…" He mumbled into the side of her neck.**

"**Well you haven't! Wasn't that the whole point of you coming over?" She questioned pushing him away and trying to hide a smile, "so you could watch Breakfast at Tiffany's?" **

**Nate dropped his head in defeat, "Yeah." **

**He'd only suggested it to get her alone; he knew Serena wouldn't willingly sit through another viewing of Breakfast at Tiffany's.**

**He liked Blair a lot, but she always seemed to be busy with Serena, or her family or school. And when she did notice him, she got so painfully shy she couldn't even be herself around him. She was always so quiet and polite and he liked that about her, but he liked it a lot more when he caught her laughing freely with Serena or dancing around Dad with her in her kitchen.**

"**I suppose." She said after a moment of silence, "If you asked me nicely… I might let you kiss." Nate found her sudden confidence even more enduring and rolled his eyes at her reply, she wasn't like any other girl he had ever met. **

"**Blair, can I please kiss you?" **

**Blair nodded and Nate leaned forward quickly the initial impact with his braces caused Blair to cry out,**

"**Ouch!" **

**He pulled back feeling like a total loser for not doing this right, but before he could get far Blair was pulling him back towards her biting his bottom lip playfully.**

**Blair let him go after a second and then let out a giggle, "I would have let you do that without asking you dork."**

**Nate smirked at her and grabbed the back for her neck her kissed her again this time without permission. **

**They both felt the pull of his sweater as it caught on her pin.**

**He picked up the golden heart off the floor and handed it too her. Nate felt horrible Blair had worn that pin everyday since her dad gave it too her for her tenth birthday, "I'm so sorry Blair; I'll buy you a new one!"**

"**It's okay," Blair smiled and stood up; she searched through her draw until she found some green thread.**

**Blair sat back down and tugged Nate's around towards her lap. Silently she hooked the heart through the thread and stared to sew it onto his sleeve.**

**He watched as she concentrated on the thread and sleeve, he touched her cheek with his other hand gently as if he was afraid to break her.**

**She looked up when she was finished and showed the sleeve to him her brilliant smile took the words out of his mouth.**

"**Now you'll always have my heart on your sleeve."**

**That was the day he fell in love with Blair Waldorf, the day when he stopped thinking that anyone else would be by his side. He couldn't explain it and it didn't make sense but maybe it wasn't suppose to. **

**After that he always knew she was it for him, he didn't ever have to think about it again, he'd found his soul-mate. **

"Nate?" 

Blair spoke up breaking their mutual reverie. 

"I am _so _sorry…"

Nate nodded, "Me too." 

"Do you think…" her voice was shaky and she couldn't get it too remain steady, "that we could ever get back to where we were?" 

He shrugged, "Honestly, I don't know."

"Do you still love me?" she asked her vulnerability evident in her watery eyes.

The school bell rung interrupting them and the hall was soon filled with school kids eager to get home.

"Yes. I'll _always _love you." He whispered and Blair could barely hear him, he looked up at her suddenly with such intensity it caused her to shiver before grabbing his bag and walking briskly down the hall.

Blair watched him leave not knowing whether to cry or smile.

* * *

Comments thoughts? xxx


	3. R is for

**So here's the question B,**

**Redemption or Revenge?**

"_You can't always get what you want, but if try sometimes you might just find, you get what you need_."

-The Rolling Stones

**Three Months Later**

"Oh honey, you are not wearing _that_ to the luncheon are you? It's so unflattering for _your_ figure."

Blair listened to her mother's critic not taking it too heart too much, last year she would have memorized every world repeating them over and over inside her head. But now it just seemed so unimportant whether her mother thought she was skinny enough or whether her headband was the right color to compliment her skin tone.

Nate was talking to her again, just like when they were in middle school. They were starting fresh, "friends first" they had promised and Blair refused to ruin her second chance by making the same mistakes again. This time she wouldn't let the little things interfere, she was trying to be more blasé about certain things, like her weight and her social standing. And she wasn't going to rush Nate into something he wasn't ready for, and something she wasn't even ready for herself.

She was still an "Upper Side princess" as Dan liked too put it, but she discovered she had matured a lot over the last six months. Serena told her the other night that she reminded her of her mother, Lily van der Woodsen, she said that as much as her mother liked to put up a façade for the outside world deep down she cared a lot more about what the people she loved thought about her. Blair took it as a complement because she knew how much Serena secretly worships Lily.

And most shockingly Chuck and Nate were actually on speaking terms again.

Well more like grunting terms… Blair had no idea what they said half the time, one boy would grunt and the other would shrug in response. But progress was progress she decided, laughing at the irony of it all.

In the beginning her entire world came crumbling down around her because Nate wanted Serena and but Blair was with Nate and Chuck wanted Blair but Nate wanted Blair back and all Serena wanted was to be friends with Blair again.

It's funny how a little time can heal some of the deepest wounds, but it couldn't' heal all of them.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Watch it skank."

Jenny spat as she pushed past Blair in the girls locker room.

Serena turned around rolling her eyes at the younger girl, "Cut it out Jen."

"Uhh My names Jenny. And do I know you? Aren't you that slut you _used_ to be popular?"

The blood boiled in Blair's veins, old Blair would have slapped the biatch down months ago. But this was new Blair, and _new_ Blair was better than that, she repeated the mantra to herself silently while Jenny and her posse cackled at the two seniors as they walked out the locker doors.

Besides, as much as Blair _hated_ Jenny she genuine liked Dan. He had proven himself to be a really great guy (not that she'd ever admit that) and Jenny was his sister. No matter how much she'd changed, anything Blair did to get revenge on Jenny would only ultimately hurt Dan.

Blair sent a smirk at Serena, "Aren't you glad I made you take co-ed gym this semester?"

"Forget them. Let's invite the boys over to your house tonight and have cocktails and watch all the Aubrey Hepburn movies you have stashed in your room!"

In Serena's bubbly presence it was hard for Blair not to smile, "I can't. My mothers doing some business with Teen Vogue, organizing a campaign for her winter line or something." She waved a hand dismissively and grabbed her bag motioning for Serena to hurry up. "Eleanor Waldorf would not approve of loud, drunk and in the boys' case, high, teenagers running around while she's talking about her precious clothing to potential buyers."

Serena remand undeterred, "Well maybe we could do it some where else?"

"Maybe" Blair agreed her heart only half into the idea, she read about Nate and some random hooking up on Gossip Girl this morning and wasn't exactly in a joyful partying mood.

As the girls made their way towards the quiet courtyard they had claimed as their own for lunch, Serena caught sight of Dan already waiting for them, head buried in his latest novel of the week.

"Dan! Hey!"

She said hello to him as though she didn't see him every single day Blair thought slightly annoyed but couldn't determine why.

"Hey," He nodded back smiling the secret smile that he and Serena seemed to use to often when Blair was around.

Blair felt nostalgic for the days when it was her and Nate using that smile around Serena.

"Waldorf" He nodded at Blair now snapping her back into the present.

She returned the gesture in her playful tone, "Humphrey."

It didn't take too long before Iz and Kati were sitting with them as well, they apologized to Blair after a month's reign under 'the horrible Queen J', and Blair had happily accepted them back… because the _new improved_ Blair wasn't about revenge.

After a few minutes of gossiping with Iz and Kati and making fun of Dan and Serena's kissing method, Blair noticed Nate making his way over, Trinity Debarks snuggled closely under his arm.

Blair's heart skipped a beat and not in a good way.

"Man, that the new lacrosse coach is kicking my ass." Nate complained to nobody in general as he sat down next to Dan, Serena shot daggers at him on the other side.

Trinity giggled flicking her faux orange locks (well Serena argued that they were naturally that color but Blair wasn't buying it) to the side and ran her hand through his thick brown hair, "Aww poor Natey, would you like a rub down?"

Blair tried to choke back vomit at the irritating baby tone Trinity had used, even Nate seemed to shudder.

Chuck now approached them and judging by the size of his Cheshire grin he had already seen who Nate's newest play thing was.

"Why if it isn't Trinity D, having lunch with us today?" He enquired politely; the malice in his eyes didn't go unnoticed by Blair, Serena or Dan.

She nodded affirmatively and kissed Nate on the cheek sloppily.

"Hey didn't I read something about you on Gossip Girl the other day?" Chuck was watching her like a snake watches it's prey squirming.

"Something about me? I don't think so." She turned beetroot red, which make her orange hair look even more ridiculous in Blair's opinion.

"Yeah, yeah wasn't it that thing about how your mother made a sex tape with your pool boy… or something." He trailed off smirking as Trinity shook her head, "Uh I don't know what you're talking about."

She grabbed her bag and stood up quickly, "I have to go I forget I had an appointment. Talk to you later Natey."

"Why do you always have to scare them away Chuck?" Nate asked only half annoyed with his best friend.

Chuck merely shrugged and lit up a joint offering it to him, Nate took it with out much insistence.

Chuck blew out the smoke, turning in Blair's direction he sent her a meaningful stare, which said, you own me one.

And Blair knew exactly what he was thinking, because Nate didn't belong with any of the brainless bimbos that he'd hooked up with since they broke up. No, Chuck had been right all along, Nate belonged with _her_.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Blair was sitting in the newly built Constance-Billard/St Jude's library trying to force herself to concentrate on the sentence she had been reading for the last ten minutes.

"Are you coming to Dan's tonight?" Nate's warm breath on the side of her face startled Blair. He was leaning awfully close, she could smell the mint of his chewing gum and their cheeks were almost touching, "Sorry did mean to scare you..." he replied sheepishly shifting back into a seat beside her.

"It's okay." She murmured sneaking a glance at the librarians' desk and then back at him, she wondered if he could hear her heart pounding loudly in her chest.

"_So_ are _you_ going?" He asked again his voice slightly impatient.

Blair waited another moment until the librarians back was facing them, "Why are we going to Dan's in the first place?"

She heard his chair scrap lightly on the floor as he leaned over again to speak in her ear, "Serena wanted to have a party tonight and Dan's place was the only one parent free."

Blair tried to calm the irregular beat of her heart as Nate leaned closer to hear her reply, "Did Dan actually agree to this?" she turned to face him sending him a pointed look, they both knew this was whole heartedly Serena's idea and that having rich Upper East side kids paw through his run down apartment was the last thing Dan would have wanted.

"Yeah. It's only going to be like you me Chuck and a few… others." Blair's stomach sunk at the sly way Nate threw in 'others'.

She fought hard to keep any hint of jealousy from her voice, "Is Trinity coming?"

"Maybe… I don't know I don't think she's too keen on hanging out with Chuck again anytime soon, not that I blame her."

Blair forced herself to sound indifferent, "Yeah."

"Excuse me; please refrain from speaking when in the library."

Blair and Nate jumped at the sound of the librarian's voice in front of their table.

"Sorry sir." Nate replied guilty, sending him a dazzling pout and using his natural charm to appear sincere.

Blair huffed slightly annoyed but mostly impressed, as she always was when ever Serena or Nate dazzled people. It only struck Blair at that moment just how ridiculously alike Serena and Nate were… they were both drop dead gorgeous, so strong, carefree and elegant they could blend into any situation and yet still manage to stand out for all the right reasons... they both acted on impulse and didn't really care what anyone thought of their decisions.

Blair sighed lightly.

Nate and Serena were the only two people in the entire world who had the ability to be unconsciously perfect, while Blair, plain and mundane, felt like the only person in the entire world who was so painfully and consciously aware of her own imperfection.

Sometimes though when she was around them, she felt like that confidence wore off, it was almost like a drug. She was addicted to them and the way they made her feel... even if sometimes they made her feel like shit a million other times they made her feel like she was just as perfect as they were, like she was worthy of being around them. In the beginning, before all of the things that made her mistrust them occurred, they actually competed for _her_ attention. When she was younger it felt like she was constantly being pulled in two directions, one with Serena and her wild and crazy antics and then the other with Nate flawless and impeccable treating her like a princess. She didn't resent them for it though, as much as she would complain and try to convince them to get along, she secretly liked it. It amazed Blair that these two magnificent creatures, seemingly from a completely different planet, actually cared about her.

It only seemed fitting that she had fallen in love with the _both_ of them.

"So are you _coming_?" Nate whispered losing his patience. He was practically on top of her, she gasped in surprise. He could never sit still for more than two seconds.

"Alright! Sheez," He visible relaxed and let go of the back of her chair. Blair eyed him suspiciously, "why do you want me to come so badly?"

He shrugged, "No reason."

Blair rolled her eyes and she tried not to smile when she caught him watching her from the corner of his eye, Nate was acting _really_ weird today but she kind of liked it.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After finally coming to the conclusion that the tweed vest wasn't as fancy as the brown jacket Dan heard a knock on the front door.

The first thing he noticed when he opened it was Nate's perfectly chosen attire. The deep blue shirt set off his cerulean eyes and the shirt front was effortlessly tucked into the gold faced leather belt, he looked like he literally stepped off an Italian runway. Dan shifted uncomfortably in his plain brown vest and worn dark blue jeans.

His eyes found Blair's as she peaked out at him from behind Nate, her face was anything but angelic. He tried not to visibly cringe at the sound of her teeth grinding together.

"We had to come on the subway," Nate said as if it explained Blair's behavior, "Serena wanted our trip to be 'authentic'"

Serena smiled so brightly it momentarily blinded him; she sashayed her way into the room looking like an Italian runway model as well.

He looked back at Blair now, as her doe eyes watched Serena's movement enviously, suddenly the eyes he had been studying were focused on his own.

"Dan don't even start with me, if I don't wash my hands this very second I swear I'm going to having a seizure and die!"

He jumped back in defeat and pointed towards the bathroom he shared with Jenny, "We wouldn't want that to happen, Waldorf, not when you're in such a festive mood..."

Blair was tempted to stay and throw some jabs of her own at him but found the urge to scrub much more overwhelming.

She pushed past him and rounded the corner, opening the door in a hurray she barely heard a girly squeal emitted from inside.

"Oh sorry!"

Jenny shot Blair a panicked glare before wrapping something in her facecloth and dumping it into the trash bin near the sink.

"It's rude to just come into someone's house and burst into their bathroom you know! Who even invited you?"

Blair opened her mouth to reply but Jenny cut her off, "Don't tell me, my lame ass brother."

Jenny brushed past Blair on her way out, "Don't touch any of my stuff."

Stepping inside Blair twisted around, a wicked smile on her face, "Like I would touch anything of _yours_." Blair kicked a frayed towel on the ground to the side, "I mean I've heard of hand me downs but I didn't know you could have hand me hand me downs."

Jenny's eyes lit up in anger, "You know I had so much fun _hanging out_ with Nate. I might see if he wants to _hang out_ again tonight."

Gritting her teeth Blair slammed the door on Jenny's triumphant smirk.

Blair eyed the bathroom bin dangerously.

After a moment of silent debating she picked up the face cloth and unraveled it; a white plastic pregnancy test fell onto the vanity.

The bright pink plus stared back at her defiantly.

Well well Little J w_hat have you been up to?!_

Blair whipped out her phone she set the camera to indoor lighting. Placing the test on the vanity carefully she held the phone out to capture the image, her finger hovered anxiously on the capture button. Old Blair would have sent this bombshell to Gossip Girl two minutes ago but New Blair couldn't do something so hurtful, so ironically justified...

She couldn't… _could_ she?

"Hurray up B, I need to pee!"

Serena's melodic voice made her jump six foot. Quickly Blair snapped a few pictures of the test and saved them for later. Wrapping it back up into the face cloth she placed it back into the bin as she had found it.

Revenge was best served with a dish of irony after all...

* * *

Okay so this was supposed to end at tree chapters but i had to write a fourth as i would have never gotten this posted otherwise. I hope you all have been enjoying it so far and I'm so sorry for the long time it took to update but i have already planned and started writing the last chapter which i shall post shortly. I want to thank everyone who reviewed and gave me the inspiration to continue this fic (the show hasn't been very helpful in the NB department lately :-( but as long as i have encouragement from you guys i seem to be able to still write lol) so thank you so much again!


	4. Retribution

Retribution

**Retribution**

_I'll find my__ way we'll fall from grace,_

_With the little piece of you that's left in me._

_But then it's one two three and your back to me_

_And all the pieces fit together oh so perfectly._

_We'll find our way we'll leave this place,_

_With the little piece of me that's left in you._

_-The Getaway Plan, Where the City Meets the Sea._

It would have been so much simpler for Blair if she hadn't grown so attached to Serena's stupid underprivileged boyfriend. If he didn't sit with them everyday at lunch and help her fill out enrolment forms for Yale.

But because of this inconvenient development of conscience about someone she reluctantly considered a friend she couldn't bring herself to send the image that sat in her camera phone, just itching to be seen by the entire Upper East Side.

Jenny Humphrey was up the duff, she had a freaking bun in the oven, and all Blair could do was brood in the furthest corner of the loft as Dan and Serena swept up in first love and giddiness danced around in front of her.

"C'mon party pooper!" Serena giggled running over and grabbing Blair's hand, pulling her up from the chair she had been glued to all night. Blair let Serena twirl her around a few times, she even genuinely smiled for a moment when she locked eyes with Nate across the room, until she caught site of Chuck sitting in the seat she had been previously occupying with his hand hovering dangerously close to her handbag where she had just left her phone.

Blair's eyes flickered desperately between Chuck's resting hand and her Gucci handbag that lay centimeters from his grasp. Making a dash for it at this moment would be to obviously, Chuck would surely see her reaching for it and grab it before her… there was the chance that he might not know what she was trying to hide but unfortunately for Blair, Chuck Bass seemingly had a radar for all things scandalous.

"Hey, you finally came out of your anti-social corner!" Vanessa smiled at the brunette bumping hips with her playfully.

Nate was trailing behind Vanessa smiling almost shyly at Blair as he approached her.

"It wasn't a corner..." Blair muttered darkly to no one in particular still distracted by Chuck's proximity to her bag.

She looked back to Vanessa and as her eyes swept over Nate she noticed his posture had changed dramatically. Suddenly the shy smile was gone and he's jaw muscle twitched frantically as he looked anywhere but at her.

After a moment of small talk between Vanessa and herself Nate finally looked into Blair's eyes. He held her gaze but then sighed in a frustrated way and ran a hand through his thick hair. If he hadn't suddenly seemed so annoyed with her she would have reached out and smoothed it back, she always loved running her fingers through Nathaniel Archibald's famous brown locks, but the way he looked at her right now made her think twice.

Vanessa seemed to sense the tension as well because after looking between them both she quietly excused herself.

"Having fun?" Blair asked knowing it was a pathetic attempt to start a conversation.

Nate smiled tightly and nodded but didn't reply.

Blair sighed after another moment of awkward silence and turned to stalk her way back to her 'anti-social' corner fed up with trying to enjoy the party before she could get to far though she felt a strong grip enclosed around her arm.

"It's okay Blair. I understand." Nate said quietly and she barely heard him above the music and chatter.

"What do you understand?" She replied completely confused as too what he was trying to say.

Nate used his grip on her bare arm to softly pull her towards an empty couch. Blair wondered if the butterflies that flutter in her stomach every time Nate touched her would ever go away, after three years she doubted it.

"I understand if you want to _tell_ him how you feel about him…" Nate said the words slowly but they still didn't seem to make sense in Blair's mind, "I want to be friends with you Blair, at the very least, and I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't want you to have what you want."

Her forehead creased in confusion, "Tell whom I feel what exactly?"

Nate looked pointedly to the corner Chuck was sitting in that she had been staring at earlier but now he had a blonde draped across either side of him.

"I know what it feels like to wish you had the chance to tell someone how you feel. I'm not going to lie. It sucks that it's him. But Blair I'll get over it," Nate looked down and took her hand into his own; "I just want you to be happy. No matter who it is that makes you smile."

Blair sighed looking down at their intertwined hands. They fit. They always fit. How did he not understand that she was and always would be madly in love with him? No matter what happened, what they'd both done wrong, he'd always have her heart.

'You're the one who makes me smile, _dork_.' Blair was about to say but the sound of girls gasping "OMG" and Dan talking loudly caught both of their attentions.

"Don't tell me she didn't do it Serena!"

Blair looked around the room and was surprised to find everyone staring at her.

"Did you think it would be funny _Waldorf_?!" Dan spat making his way towards her enraged. Nate took step in front of her and the action made her feel instantly comforted.

"Hey man just calm down," Nate said as he placed himself between the furious boy and Blair, "what's going on here?" Dan looked at Blair with such fierceness that she was certain if looks could kill she would have just died on the spot.

Serena sighed and pulled out her cell phone handing it to Nate and looking at Blair disappointedly. Nate stared at the phone for a moment before shrugging, "Am I supposed to know what I'm looking at?"

"That's my bathroom!" Dan burst pointing to the back of the loft, "And that's a positive pregnancy test next to my sister's toiletries!" He looked at Blair now, "Isn't it obvious? She sent this to Gossip Girl. She's trying to make it look like Jenny's pregnant. I don't know how... But she did it... She's psychotic!"

Blair's heart instantly dropped when Nate handed Serena back the phone and whispered, "_Oh Blair…"_ as if he'd already decided, like everyone else, that she was guilty as sin.

Faced with the accusations of her peers and Nate's reaction Blair spoke up before she could stop herself, "But she really is pregnant!" she squeaked almost ashamed that she didn't think of a better defense.

Chuck made his way towards the group slowly assessing the situation unfolding before him.

"Nobody believes your vicious lies Blair." Jenny said calmly making her way through the pack of gasping teens but Blair could see through he facade, Jenny's hand was shaking and she quickly put it behind her back when she caught Blair looking at it.

"Blair..." Serena moved forward to stand next to her, "Did you take that photo?"

Tears formed in the corners of her eyes, "Yes," Serena shook her head and Dan nodded, "Of course she did! Anything to take down Little J, right Queen B? This isn't some fairytale Blair! This is _real_ fucking life. This is my sister's life, _my_ life." Dan finally softened and Blair could see the genuine betrayal behind his brown eyes.

"You think I don't know that?!" She screamed back tears pouring freely down her face, "I took that photo but I _didn't_ send it to Gossip Girl okay?!"

Nate survey the gathering crowd, some of which had taken out their phones and were recording the fight, and put his arm behind Blair's back protectively. He whispered into her ear, "C'mon I'll take you home." then looked at Dan and said quietly, "She didn't send it alright? Besides this isn't the place for this."

"She's not going anywhere until she explains this!" Dan was standing in front of them blocking the exit.

Blair tried to calm her erratic breathing but found it impossible.

"I didn't do anything alright. Yes I saw the pregnancy test after Jenny had been in the toilet and put two and two together… I took the photo intending to send it to Gossip Girl," Blair said shakily, "But I didn't send it. I couldn't have. I haven't been near my phone for the last fifteen minutes!"

"That's right she couldn't have sent it," Vanessa made her way through the crowd, "She was talking to Nate when it was sent around. And she had been talking to me right before, she didn't have her phone with her either."

Dan seemed to calm down slightly, "Jenny is this true? Was it your test?"

Jenny nodded wordlessly and hung her head in shame.

He looked around the room hopelessly, "Well who sent it then?"

"Shouldn't you be more concerned with the fact your fourteen year old sister is a slut?" Chuck chimed in smirking the entire time.

Blair's eyes found Chuck's and she instantly knew what he had done.

Dan caught sight of the way Blair was looking at Chuck and it suddenly dawned on him, "You son of a bitch!" He lunged forward and Serena barely managed to restrain him.

"Hands off the suit Humphrey." Chuck evaded Dan's wild swings walking towards the door, "You couldn't afford to dry clean it."

Serena shook her head and tried to comfort Jenny as Dan swore loudly and punched the nearest wall no doubt picturing Chuck Bass's face.

"You believed me." Blair stated simply as she closed her bedroom behind Nate.

He had taken her home after the party had come to an abrupt end. Jenny locked herself in her room refusing to come out and Dan apologized profusely to Blair, although he was unimpressed she took the photo in the first place, he was glad she had not done the same thing Jenny had done to her last year.

Nate motioned to the space beside him on her bed, "I know you Blair. I know what you're capable of and you could never hurt a friend like that. You wouldn't have done that to Serena, or Dan." He teased at the ambivalent friendship she shared with Dan.

"I thought about doing it.." she gulped guilty and looked away.

Nate used his hand to pull her face back to his own, "But you couldn't because you knew it would hurt them. I always loved that about you, how loyal and fiercely you protect your friends, and I'm glad it hasn't changed."

He knew her; he knew her _so well_, how had she never noticed.

All the talk of loyalty and friendship made Blair think about what she _had_ done to Nate and Chuck's relationship and her own relationship with Nate.

"I'm so sorry, what I did with Chuck, I can never make up for it or excuse it, but I want you to know I've learnt from it." She said vehemently grasping his hand in her own.

"Blair," He smiled charmingly at her now and it lightened her heavy heart, "It's not like I can make moral judgments here. I was so angry after I found out but I was mostly angry with myself, because I knew it was my fault. Look we both hurt each other a lot but that's the past. Soon we'll be off to university and all of this will feel like a million years ago."

"What you were saying earlier... about Chuck making me happy."

Nate's smile faltered slightly and Blair could tell he was trying desperately to be a good friend to her.

"It's not true. He doesn't make me happy. He makes me feel horrible and guilty and dirty," she scrunched up her face in disgust, "but _you_…" Blair leaned forward and put her hand on Nate's cheek, "_You_ make me _happy_."

Blair squealed as Nate lunged forward wrapped his arms around her completely.

"What a coincidence..." He said pulling back from their embrace and made his adorable 'thinking' face, "_you_ make me _happy_."

"I do?" Blair echoed a playful smile on her face, "You do. Always have, always will." He confirmed by swooping in and kissing her soundly.

Blair often wondered what it would be like to have Nate, to really have him without all the insecurities they had that built walls between them, she never imagined they would be able to over come the past that weighed them down, but now that they had, now she does have him completely, she never wants to let him go.

Blair Waldorf was no longer in denial because her life _really_ was _perfect_ now.

Oh and if your wondering what ever happened to Little J? Well let's just say that not all pregnancy tests are _accurate_. But boarding school in Switzerland is really doing wonders for her attitude, even if she doesn't quite agree.


End file.
